My Boys are MY WHY!
My Boys are why I walk, I live for my boys for they are the most precious gift God has ever blessed me with. I want to live longer and become stronger to be there for my boys, watch them graduate with a successful college degree, fall in love and get married. I do not ever want to see anyone go through the struggle for life I had been through.
Please help me by supporting the American heart association to save even more lives. Thank you for your support it is so much appreciated!
When I was younger growing up and in high school I tried out for all kinds of sports and was always turned down. I was not able to be accepted into any sports and was picked on each time I tried and failed because I was short of breath gasping for air. Doctors told me I just have asthma and anxiety. I never wanted to believe the doctors because there is no way I will be this much short of breath but I said OK and tried to live on.
As the years went by my symptoms got worse and worse not only I could not breath well in every attempted activity but going up the stairs or walking a hallway was a big struggle for air as well. I had a headache that never ever went away. I felt my heart running more then I was and as if my heart wanted to jump out of my body, I felt as if I was being squeezed between some kind of machine.
Very often I was feeling these symptoms and I could not work successfully either because my symptoms was getting more frequent and even just simply standing up was shorting my breath and giving me chest pain. I was then feeling what is called a shunt as if someone punched me in my heart and my body reacted by jumping and I looked as if I just saw a ghost. These shunts occurred very frequently and people around me would look at me and ask why do I jump like this even when I am simply talking in a simple conversation I jumped. It was embarrassing and It was because my heart was not getting enough oxygen and would struggle to beat.
Again my doctors said I just have anxiety and asthma. I refused to listen this time and I asked to see a heart doctor to evaluate me instead because my heart was not happy and it was not my breath or my so called anxiety.
After lots of different exams and evaluations sure enough I was then diagnosed with ASD a hole in my heart. Although my heart doctor could clearly hear my heart murmurer which is my blood loudly flowing across my heart valves said I will be OK people live with holes in their heart and could still close on its own. My smptoms got way worse then on I was looking for a surgeon and was put down because of my age since this is mostly found on children rather then adults.
Then I was told I am only looking for attention and for someone to feel sorry for me but I knew and fought that is not the case at all. I was suffering and fighting for my life and I was not aware of why but went along with frequent heart ultrasounds and so on.
After I almost gave up one day after thanksgiving break I had another heart ultrasound done and I just made an appointment to be evaluated by another heart surgeon, she took me in her office and I thought she will say no like the other surgeons and tell me she can not also accept my case because I was an adult with a child's condition.
Instead this heart surgeon asked me what I was waiting for and why I waited this very long enough time to fix the hole in my heart. Then she held my hand, looked at me in the eye and said my heart has enlarged dramatically to the point of danger and I will not live to see Christmas and it must be fixed as soon as possible and she accepted my case and willing to attempt to save my life and fix my heart. She encouraged me to schedule the surgery , hugged and comforted me. I made an appointment and told those who thought I was looking for attention that this is the day I will have my open heart surgery, I will save my life all alone if I have to. Those that I loved was is denial but I had to be the one to comfort them and tell them I will be OK.
I had an open heart surgery and fixed the hole in my heart and I thought my nightmare was over. Five years later it was a repeat of my symptoms this time the heart doctor himself said to me its just anxiety. I also refused to listen because I was following my instance and know I am suffering and it’s not anxiety.
I was very lucky to have a free heart ultrasound done to me by a student who was learning, I offered for her to use me in one of her tests in college. She found that I had PDA another heart condition in which my blood vessels failed to close on its own after birth which also required to be fixed. My heart doctor then used a different kind of evaluation and found that is true indeed and I did need another heart surgery to fix it before it got worse.
By then there was a new method of fixing hearts with less invasive but my guts told me not to trust it because it was still new and used very few times and successful but I was a very tiny little lady and anything could happen to me. I found a surgeon who accepted my case and fixed my PDA the traditional way.
My nightmare was still not over, as I was recovering, I cold not breath at all, I was gasping for air. Doctor comes in room and said I have anxiety. NO I could not even talk, I was unable to speak and physically I could not breath. The respiratory therapist seem to believe me and was on my side and mentioned that there is something not right he said and suggested an ENT-ear, nose and throat doctor to evaluate me instead. Sure enough 80% of my airway was blocked due to a larger size of breathing tube used during my heart surgery in which I did warn the anesthesiologist to use the tiniest tube because I am very petite before my surgery. I than had to have another surgery to open the airway in my throat and was upset I was not heard by more kinds of medical professional again.
I fought for my life so hard, what I learned is that I truly have to trust myself. Stand up for what I believe even if I found myself alone with no one to believe me. It was such a hard struggle. I am so lucky I was able to give birth to my two boys with me having such heart conditions. My boys are my life, my miracle, my everything, my reason to be alive and that is why I walk.
As I’m writing this I now I am diagnosed with a tiny leaking heart valve the rest shall be a mystery......
Thank you for taking your time to read my heart story!